sometimes a kaleidoscope is a catastrophe

I was never a "wedding" girl. If you had asked me 5 years ago if I'd be engaged, much less thinking about a wedding, before I was 30 my response would have been: a. roaring laughter or b. a roll of the eyes followed by an exasperated "no". But, alas, I am not a seer. I am engaged AND thinking about a wedding. When I first started considering possibilities for the fete I felt completely overwhelmed. Actually... I still do. Part of the difficulty is that I've got about 30 competing preferences. Should it be formal or casual, rustic or seaside, mod and hip or garden fresh? I don't know! I like elements of each. I got to thinking about this the other night though and realized something important about myself. This inability to choose between styles is not a peculiarly wedding-related quirk of mine. The clothes I like, the music, the dinnerware and decor for my (current and dream) home are all highly eclectic. Unfortunately, I am still fine tuning my inner coordinator; I'm still learning which elements can be mixed together in an aesthetically pleasing way and which ones simply can not. When it comes to something small or something for someone else I generally have no problem. But if it is for me, the larger the scale - be it an event or a home - I just don't know what I like most. I suppose it helps that the philosopher is pretty clear about particular issues regarding our wedding. It helps narrow the possibilities a bit. Then again, we tend to have slightly different tastes so the game of compromise can be tricky. I thought, for instance, since he's not a big fan of extravagance he would be all over a kitschy, casual shindig at the lake. I had even gotten excited about it myself. But, without these I just can't see it happening. :) I'm sure there will be plenty more updates on our growing reject bin but I'm hesitant to expose too many rejects just yet. Why? Well, *shame* I keep pulling things back out of the bin. For instance, I spent about a week thinking these were really cute (even though I am not a cake topper kind of girl). Then, I spent about two weeks thinking they were totally frumpy and stupid. And back and forth the pendulum swings... Hopefully within the next year I'll learn to be a great mixologist. In the meantime, it might be a wild ride.

"Decorating for yourself is agony. It's easy to figure out what will make someone else happy. It's easy to make someone else's dreams come true. But to get into your own head as a decorator is hard because you're exposed to so many things."

- Robert Kime